ok so standing their in front of some shapeshifting reptiles at least i think they were they told me they were when they talked to me, because i found them outside my aunt's house in florida in what used to be her back porch and bedroom but now was a wasteland of raw sewage and talking alligators, and several of these reptilian beings say 'hey, well hello there.' and i say, 'oh, i didn't know you guys can really talk,' and so they say 'welllll we can, when you get high enough' and they all start laughing at me and then they glow and shimmer with light, and then they are like 'hey you gotta write this shit down man, it'll make you appear all cool and edgy and with it for that joinmycult.net shit you write on'...
and they start laughing, the scenery morphs again and turns into a fucking hologram and i'm losing my shit all of a sudden i am on a scooby doo ghost hunt with these people, i think spoony is there, and daphney, and also thelma, and they're dyking it out and spoony's watching but i feel a bit ill. they're all fictional characters and yet they are all somehow real as anything else. we are hitting this monstrous 5 foot bong and all of a sudden i find myself running from this guy who looks like michael meyers in an oversized flannel coat but i'm trapped on a sliding floor that keeps sucking me back towards him, like treadmill, but he is too so neither of us are really even going anywhere. and then he starts to disappear and i start to disappear and this voice keeps saying 'DEATH TO VIDEODROME DEATH TO VIDEODROME THE MATRIX FUCKING HAS YOU' and then 'farewell to the holy mountain, real life awaits us' and then the shapeshifting reptiles come back again, all shimmering blue and third eyes glowing and pulsating with energy and light because at this point they are just fading in and out...
i hear the voice of that black bald dude who plays morpheus and he's all 'i think we are losing him, i'm not sure he really knows yet' and then the crackling of static, all of a sudden WHAM i am in a big complex of banks, but the banks they are all interconnected like a living organism and i'm levitating at the center of them and all these crazy kids are following me around and spoony is there, only he is not, he's actually cthulhu. and these voices keep chanting do not fuck with cthulhu do not fuck with cthulhu do not fuck with cthulhu and now the fucking banks are collapsing we are all levitating dude this shit is real i am levitating i am chanting 'DO NOT FUCK WITH CTHULHU' and the bankers are pissing themselves, money is burning in big fucking piles and the whole system is toppling down around us and we couldn't be happier, chipper even.
all of a sudden i'm in this goddamned crazy parking lot wrestling naked with a female probation officer. i go to put my dick into her and she's like 'um, you might not want to do that, it's just that i am actually a crazy woman and you might not be prepared to deal with the reprocussions' and so i say, 'nah baby, they're the only ones for me!' i go to fuck this lady PO and spoony is there, only he is still cthulhu and we both have sex with her before i wake up, again (these are called false awakenings and i am becoming more and more used to them now these days because all life is is a big gigantic series of false awakenings) and i'm watching dethklok play. they throw a big 8 pointed chinese ninja star at my third eye and i fall to the ground... fade to black. curtain close
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